Simple Steps to Save Your Marriage
No one ever gets married, thinking later on they’ll be asking “Help me save my marriage -please” Sadly it happens far too often with too many marriages.
We’re truly sorry that you are going through any of it. You have lots of company, although that’s not necessarily a comforting thing is it ?
Even though the divorce statistics alone could convince our entire dating population that marriage is a bad bet, there is strong evidence showing that if you are serious about saving your marriage then you most likely will. It is because you are willing to do something.
Below are a few success tips and ideas designed to help with some issues you may be facing right now.
Can Counseling Teach Me How To Save My Marriage?
Almost certainly one of the first questions going through your mind is – Does marriage counseling help? Sometimes, yet traditional counseling has a low success rate because of the disadvantage in that it relies on BOTH partners working together, and ultimately that does need to happen if you’re going to fix your marriage. However, this is not a typical situation when a marriage is in crisis.
Often, there is a reluctant spouse unwilling to cooperate in the counseling environment. Issues such as scheduling and cost can also quickly become excuses to skip sessions or one partner goes without the other, reducing effectiveness.
A counselor might be recommended when you and your spouse feel there is no sign of compatibility. These will be areas such as extreme differences in basic values, goals, priorities and the levels of importance you assign to things such as money, family, friends, religion etc.
Although possibly a substantial investment, a counselor in this situation can help foster a neutral environment where you both can open up and discuss your differences and hopefully prevent a costly divorce and everything else that’s involved down that path.
Who Can Help Me Save My Marriage?
- Your Mother or Father?
Try to understand that you need to be the one in control of your decisions.Yet because you are experiencing one of the most frustrating and emotional times of your life, you may not see that now.
Often one or both partners feel so isolated and frustrated they’ll question can I save my marriage alone? To an extant -yes
You and your partners behavior have such a strong influence over each other that when you act (instead of react) the way you want to feel, this will not only help you but eventually – without fail, start to transform your partner as well.
It sounds easier than it is: use responsibility for your actions and do not let your emotions control them. This is very powerful self training. This is also the very first step to saving your marriage.
You change what you can change because, even if your partner is reluctant or unwilling, your actions will start the repair process in three ways:
- You’ll be leading by example
- Demonstrating control and calm can become contagious.
- Your willingness to “meet” way past the middle clearly shows your commitment to healing your marriage.
If you want to feel more respect and love for your partner – then act with more love and respect ( deposit). If you want to feel peace and calm – then act peaceful and calm. These actions will kickstart an incredible psychological phenomenon. You can replace negative feelings with positive actions – make sense? This is a win – or win win situation. Try it and see what develops.
My Partner Had An Affair What Should I Do?
An affair can be the most challenging marriage problem to overcome, and it will take teamwork.
Your first step is all about self healing- learning to let go of anger, resentment, blame and explore possibilities of what your role was in your partners decision to look elsewhere for their needs. To be clear – your partner had an affair, not you, you are not at fault for their actions. And your actions cannot be an excuse for the affair.
Rebuilding trust after an affair is possible or at least an easier process when certain elements are in place.
These are positive signs that will encourage the healing process
- Your partner express remorse or guilt
- All contact with the lover is willingly cut off
- Your spouse does not accuse you of causing the affair
- Your spouse asking for or willing to seek counseling
What Do I Need To Help Me Save My Marriage?
You may be thinking that love or happiness is missing. That you need love in order to have a great marriage. Love is important, and while you may not feel love for your partner as an emotion just now you can show love as an action by focusing on the traits above.
Even the strongest marriage experiences times where the emotion of love may wane for a bit. In any team or companionship you might not always feel love each other yet you’ll have disagreements, different viewpoints and still work through the issues because that’s what a team does.
If you stick to the commitment that you make together, respect and trust each other in your companionship, you’ll be plenty strong enough to weather all the storms and challenges your dealt.
Thank you for reading How to save my marriage, We truly hope you found some value or even inspiration here and wish you all the best in your endeavor to save your marriage.
If you wish to take this further – we’ve included some recommended resources below.